Feel It Now
by LuxEtVeritas10
Summary: Takes place during the course of one weekend.  Emily and JJ start out alone, but will they end up the same way?
1. Chapter 1

**Friday**

It had been a long day that was the end to a long week. Emily Prentiss entered her expensive condo overlooking the Washington Mall and felt her remaining energy drain as she finally allowed herself to realize the full extent of her exhaustion. Letting her guard down, even momentarily, in her line of work could mean the difference between life and death so she was careful to constantly remain alert when on assignment. On assignment is where the team had been for the past six days, assisting a Sheriff's department in identifying and apprehending a serial killer. Emily couldn't even remember the name of the town, only that it had been in the Midwest. This was due partly to her current exhaustion and partly to her thorough compartmentalization. There were some things that always stayed with her, of course: the unsub, the victim, the victim's loved ones. But in order to keep her sanity, she had learned to immediately let go of the more insignificant details.

A creature of habit, Emily followed the same routine every time she returned home from the office or a trip. She paused at the table in the entryway to her condo and carefully placed her ready-bag underneath it before setting her keys, Glock, and badge on the table's surface. The objects may only be hardware but going through this routine of removing them helped her draw the line between Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, profiler in the FBI's elite Behavior Analysis Unit, and Emily, a homebody and self-described nerd.

Emily felt and heard her stomach grumble and suddenly realized she was starving. She turned her palm up to look at her watch. It had been almost 12 hours since she had last eaten. She could make a show of opening her fridge and pretending to search for something to eat, but she knew it quite literally would end fruitless. She rarely kept her kitchen stocked, since she never knew when and for how long she'd be gone. So instead of putting on the charade, she picked up the phone and dialed the pizza parlor down the block.

She finished ordering a pizza and then made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. She had thirty minutes before the pizza would arrive and she planned to use as much of that time as possible under a hot stream of water in her shower.

Forty-five minutes later, she plopped down on her couch and turned on the TV. She had changed into sweatpants and a Yale sweatshirt and selected a moderately expensive red wine to pair with her pizza. She casually flipped through the channels, hoping to find something light and funny, stopping on a romantic comedy she hadn't seen. She set her wine glass on the end table and settled back into the couch to eat her pizza. As Friday evenings went, this was about as exciting as they got for her.

As the movie progressed, so did the amount of times Emily reached over to refill her wine glass until she reached over one last time as the credits began and realized the bottle was empty. The bottle was small enough that Emily reasoned that she had more of a buzz than being actually drunk. She moved to stand up, intending to move to her bedroom for the night. Upon standing, she had to reach out a hand to steady herself as all of the blood immediately rushed to her head. Or at least it felt that way to her.

Realizing she was more than just buzzed, Emily sunk back down onto her couch. After turning off the TV and the lamp on the end table, she stretched out on the couch, pulling down the blanket draped across the couch's back. The moonlight from the night's full moon came in through her picture window and basked the room in a white glow. Emily lay on her side looking out the window at nothing in particular.

Her complete exhaustion combined with her apparent intoxication made it impossible to keep out the thoughts she had so carefully buried within her.

If Emily could describe her childhood and ascension into adulthood in one word it would be solitude. The child of an Ambassador, she was in a constant state of moving, and not just within the United States. Growing up in Moscow and Paris and a variety of other international cities may sound exciting but to a child of a parent unconcerned with involvement it meant only loneliness. Having a friend had been just a concept, not something that was actually tangible. Once, when her mother was briefly stationed in Rome Emily had what she considered two very good friends. For a brief period of time she entertained the thought that she may even have a best friend. But time and circumstances beyond her control had been cruel to those connections and even they had frayed until they became non-existent.

Through those experiences Emily had learned to depend only on herself. To be reserved and in control at all times. To never let relationships develop to the point where she exposed herself to the potential for pain or rejection. Nothing was ever personal to her, just business. Which is why she made such a talented profiler, but at a great cost to her personal life. Emily always assumed it was worth it, because she didn't know any better. She had never experienced what being in a family meant.

Until she came to the BAU.

Her relationship with the team had started off timid, each hesitant to let the other one in. But over time things had changed, become more comfortable. The team looked out for each other, had each other's back. They had become the family Emily never had but always longed for. As with any family, they had their rough patches but in the end Emily completely and unwaveringly trusted each and everyone one of them.

But it wasn't the team Emily was thinking about as she lay on her couch, alone and drunk. At least not the entire team. Rather, Emily was thinking about a specific team member.

Outside of Hotch, JJ was the first team member Emily had met upon her arrival at the BAU. They immediately had connected and shared a strong friendship ever since. Emily trusted JJ more than anyone else in the world and would do anything for her. She would never do anything to jeopardize their relationship.

Which is why the secret Emily hid from the team and the rest of the world was that her feelings for JJ were more than just platonic. If she was being honest, she felt it the moment she first met the blonde media liaison. What exactly it was that she felt, she didn't know. Or maybe was just too afraid to define. All she knew was that when she thought of JJ she felt a warmth unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

Naturally, given her reserved nature, the unfamiliar feelings had terrified Emily. It rattled her so deeply that she had labored over the implications of making her feelings known and sadly had concluded that it was best to keep her emotions to herself. There was the no-fraternization policy of the FBI, for starters, not to mention that it was entirely possible, and even likely, that JJ's sexual orientation did not include women. Emily told herself these were the reasons she needed to bury her feelings, but deep down she knew the real reason was fear of the unknown, fear of letting someone past the walls she had built up.

So, Emily did her best to forget that any such feelings existed within her. For the most part, she was successful, with the exception of a those times when the stress of circumstances and the nature of their work made Emily wish, just for a moment, that she could allow herself to feel something. Or times like this night, when the exhaustion was so complete and the liquor so strong that she simply couldn't summon the strength to keep it all out.

Emily sighed and she tossed and turned, struggling to get comfortable, as she thought back to the day's events.

_The team had just boarded the plane and were preparing for their return flight to Quantico. It had been a long six days, as evidenced by the dark circles and weary expressions on each of their faces. There were plenty of spots from which Emily could choose to sit but she chose the one opposite JJ, her instincts telling her this case had affected the blonde more than she had let on. Emily knew JJ always felt most comforted by just having a physical presence near._

_Emily took the window seat directly opposite the blonde, throwing her ready bag onto the aisle seat next to her. Before Emily could ask JJ how she was, the media liaison's phone began ringing._

_Emily noticed a quick flash of recognition in JJ's eyes as she stared at the caller ID and briefly hesitated before she pressed a button on the side of the phone, effectively silencing it. She placed her phone back into the pocket of her ready-bag._

"_Don't you need to get that?"_

"_Huh?" JJ looked confused as she turned her gaze to the brunette, as if she had been lost in her thoughts and her brain hadn't interpreted the words of Emily's question, only recognized that they were being spoken to her. _

"_You phone. Do you need to answer it?" Emily's eyes moved to JJ's ready-bag as she motioned towards it slightly with her head._

"_Oh, no. It's just Will. I can call him back later." _

"_Are you sure?" Emily remembered Will, or rather Detective LaMontagne as the rest of the team knew him. They had met him a few weeks earlier while in New Orleans on a case. Emily thought he seemed nice enough and while he had been professional and courteous with the rest of the team, it had been obvious that JJ had caught his eye. Emily knew JJ and Will had exchanged numbers before the team left Louisiana and had been wondering if anything had happened after that. Obviously, given his phone call, it had._

"_Yeah, I'm sure we'll be taking off any minute." This sounded like a weak excuse to Emily but JJ waved her hand, as if physically dismissing something, to reinforce her point so Emily let the matter drop. _

"_How is it going with him?" Emily didn't really care to know, but she knew it was the polite thing to ask._

"_Good, I think."_

"_You think?" Emily arched her eyebrows. She had not expected this response._

"_Yeah, I mean Will seems like a great guy, it's just..." As JJ trailed off, she turned to look out the window of the plane._

"_What is it, JJ? Do you want to talk about it?"_

_JJ continued looking out the window a few moments before shrugging as she turned back to the brunette. "I don't know. I just feel like something is missing. It's hard to explain. Have you ever felt like that?"_

_Emily pondered the question a few seconds before responding, an apologetic look on her face. "I don't know JJ, my experience with relationships is limited." JJ noticed that Emily seemed internally to be considering something. Finally the brunette asked, "Do you think he's the one?"_

"_I don't know," came JJ's immediate response, the unexpected question catching her off guard. She thought a few moments before continuing, "I mean, I barely know him so how could I possibly know?"_

"_You'd know." Emily responded immediately, almost before JJ even had finished speaking._

"_How?" The blonde's eyebrows knitted together, her curiosity peaked._

_Emily paused and turned to look out the window. JJ opened her mouth to say something else when the brunette answered._

_"You just do. You know because when you think of them, you can't help but smile, for no particular reason other than just the mere thought of them makes you happy. You know because you could be in a room full of people and see only them." Emily paused and sighed before finishing, her voice soft yet full of certainty, "You know someone is the one because the first time you lay eyes on them you can just tell that no thing and no one else will ever come close." Even after finishing her little speech, Emily remained looking out the window, almost forgetting she was in the company of someone else and not alone._

_"Wow, Emily." JJ's words snapped Emily out of her trance. Emily's heart raced as she panicked. She had gotten carried away. Had she said too much? Did JJ know? She cautiously turned her gaze from the window back to the blonde. JJ was looking at her with a strange expression, a mixture of amazement and something else, something Emily couldn't be sure of. To Emily, JJ almost looked jealous. But why?_

"_Sounds like you have experience." JJ continued when Emily didn't say anything. Emily blushed as she looked at her hands, unable to hold the blonde's intense eye contact. Unable to form complete sentences, she mumbled, "No, not really."_

_"Don't be embarrassed." Emily assumed JJ must have noticed her flushed cheeks. Her voice was kind and Emily, mustering the courage to look, saw her eyes held the same kindness. The blonde's mouth opened to speak. "I like what you said."_

_"It's a fairytale, JJ. It's never going to happen." Emily unintentionally scoffed, her voice suddenly coated in disappointment. Before JJ could respond, Emily was out of her seat. She started towards the back of the plane, mumbling, "I'm going to get some coffee before we take off."_

Emily had avoided JJ the rest of the return trip home. The entire team had parted quickly after touch down for their own respective homes.

Now, as she lay on her couch, looking out her window at the beautiful landscape before her, Emily thought of JJ and the past few years at the BAU. As the memories of times spent with JJ and the rest of the team washed over her, memories full of warmth, comfort and acceptance, Emily made a decision. It was time for her to to let go of the bitterness and the jealousy that came with hiding from what she truly felt and wanted. It was time for her to let go of her fears and tell JJ exactly how she felt.

But when? She already had made plans for Saturday and, as much as she wanted to break them, she knew she couldn't get out of them now. Spending an extended period of time interacting in a social setting was not something she wanted to do but a commitment was a commitment to Emily Prentiss. She would have to wait until Sunday.

In those last moments before sleep overtook her, Emily could think of only one thing. Sunday. Sunday she would tell JJ everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Saturday**

JJ sighed loudly as she sat on the edge of her bed. The movement caught her eye in the mirror across from her and she stared back at her reflection. She looked tired, but not as tired as she felt. It was Saturday night and her friends wanted to have a girls night out. She preferred to stay home, especially after having been out of town on a case for the past six days, but her friends had refused to take no for an answer. Now, she wasn't sure she even had the energy to get ready, let alone actually go out.

Her attention was drawn from the mirror as her phone beeped from the night stand behind her. She stared at the phone, making no movement to go towards it. The beep was a reminder that she had a voicemail that she had yet to retrieve. Knowing who the message was from was easy, since she had looked at her phone before ignoring the call the day before. What she wasn't sure of was why she was avoiding it.

A few weeks ago the team had been in New Orleans working a case. JJ had spent a considerable amount of the time with the lead detective, Will LaMontagne. His attraction towards her had been apparent immediately and, as the case progressed, the two had developed a playful and flirtatious banter. They even had exchanged numbers before the team departed for their return to Quantico.

As she thought about him, she knew that she liked him in some way. For starters, he was charming; a Southern gentleman in every sense of the word. She also genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. Their personalities blended well and they had had a few very interesting conversations during her stay in New Orleans.

But something wasn't right. JJ didn't know what that something was, or even if it truly existed, but she could feel it deep in her instincts that it was all wrong. And he certainly didn't fit the description Emily painted yesterday of the elusive "one". In part, that was why she was avoiding him, even if she couldn't articulate the exact reason. It was also why she looked so tired.

If JJ was being honest, her conversation with Emily on the plane had startled her, even made her uncomfortable. Emily had sounded so sure in what she was saying. JJ strangely had even felt jealous. Jealous of what, she wasn't sure, but she reasoned it was that Emily could be so sure of something that she herself barely could comprehend.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, she willed herself to get up and finish getting ready.

Three hours later JJ mostly had forgotten about Will. It was due partially to the amount of alcohol she had consumed and partially to that the music in the bar was so loud that it was hard to think of anything. Her friends were still on the dance floor but she had stepped away for a minute to get a refill and cool down. She now stood with her back to the bar, sipping her drink, as she surveyed the crowd. She ignored the few glances she noticed had been cast in her direction. She knew she was attractive, especially in the dress she was wearing, and was used to the attention, but she wasn't interested and she made sure her body language reflected such.

JJ's gaze fell on a woman across the room. 

The woman had her back to the blonde. She was wearing a fitted black button up shirt, tucked in and sleeves evenly rolled to the elbows, perfectly tailored dark denim pants, and heeled black boots. As the woman lifted her hand to tuck a few stray strands of her jet black hair behind her ear, the barlights caught her expensive looking watch and earrings. The slender build, the hair, the casual yet perfectly put together outfit took only seconds to compute in JJ's head. Emily. But what was she doing here? Emily was one of JJ's best friends and she knew her well enough to know this bar was not her scene.

JJ didn't have much time to ponder this point further as she noticed the brunette was moving towards the dance floor, presumably to cut across to the main bar on the other side. Without thinking, JJ quickly set her drink on the smaller bar behind her and took off after the woman. She had hoped to catch up to her before she got to the dance floor but she was unsuccessful, as the brunette had a bit of a head start on her.

As JJ entered the dance floor, she lost sight of the other woman. The area was quite crowded, forcing the blonde to weave her way through the throngs of dancers, politely yet firmly squeezing around those oblivious to her movements. The strobe lights, combined with the chemicals pushing through her bloodstream, made the blonde feel as if she was moving in slow motion towards her target, which she had just caught sight of ten feet and three people in front of her.

JJ took the last few steps towards the woman, outstretching her hand to tap her on the shoulder. "Emily?"

The brunette turned. But it wasn't Emily. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my friend Emily," JJ said quickly, embarrassed. The woman politely gave JJ a half-smile and a nod before continuing on towards the bar.

JJ stood on the dance floor a few moments, watching the woman go. The other patrons of the bar continued to move and dance around her, radiating heat. It was making her dizzy. She quickly turned and hurried back across the dance floor. She ordered a water and drank as much as she could to try and cool down and clear her head.

But it didn't work. Her head was filling with things JJ didn't understand. Why was she so disappointed the woman wasn't Emily?

As she slowly raised her eyes from looking at the glass of ice water in her hands, something in JJ suddenly clicked. It was all so clear now. She grabbed her purse and raced towards the exit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sunday**

The first thing Emily noticed when she woke up was that she was cold. She looked around the room and quickly discovered the reason why: she had forgotten to close her bedroom window the night before. She pulled the covers up around her and rolled onto her back, staring idly at her ceiling.

True, the day before hadn't been as bad as she had expected, but attending one of her mother's political functions was never what she would describe as enjoyable. After laying in bed for ten minutes, she finally rose from her bed and prepared for her morning run.

Emily set out on her run through the nation's capital. She preferred running outdoors to a treadmill and Fall was her favorite season for it. She loved the feeling of the cool air filling her lungs and her cheeks flushing. She also loved the way the leaves looked, their green giving way to oranges, browns, and yellows, and the crunching sounds below her feet as she moved along the path.

Usually she listened to music as she ran but this time she opted not to in order to concentrate better on thinking. It was still pretty early and there were few people on the trail. Moving through her thoughts, Emily decided that the best approach was just to go to JJ's house and lay it all out there. She tried not to think about or plan too much what she wanted to say; she preferred her speech to be more impromptu and sincere.

An hour later, Emily had made the trip across town and was slowly walking towards JJ's door. She had carefully chosen her outfit of dark jeans and a fitted gray sweater because JJ had once complimented how nice she looked wearing it. But none of that mattered now. Her heart felt as if it was going to beat out of her chest, the pulse deafening to her ears as she finally reached the door.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she exhaled, she opened her eyes and raised a shaky hand to the doorbell. Emily could hear the bell through the door as it resonated throughout the house. After a few seconds of hearing no other sounds, Emily raised her fist and delivered three swift knocks on the solid wood door. Still hearing nothing, Emily stepped to the left of the door and leaned close to the window. Cupping her eyes with her hands to shield the sunlight, she peered into the entryway. It appeared as though JJ wasn't home.

Disappointed, Emily walked back to her Range Rover. She sat at the wheel for a minute, wondering where JJ might be. She remembered that on the weekends JJ loved to frequent a coffee shop down the street. Faced with the decision of waiting for JJ in her driveway or checking the coffee shop, Emily decided not to wait. She backed out of the driveway and headed towards the shop.

Minutes later Emily drove around the small shop once, looking for JJ's car. She didn't see it but decided to go inside and check anyway. She parked and entered the coffee shop and quickly determined that JJ wasn't there either. Not knowing where else to go, Emily returned to her SUV and began the drive back home. Doubts about what she was doing began to creep in. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Emily pulled onto her street and found a spot near her building. Finding a spot so close meant at least something was going her way today. She exited her vehicle and made her way towards the front door of her building. The sun had warmed the air considerably since her run earlier that morning and she noticed there were a lot of people outside enjoying what was probably that last semi-warm day of the year. She passed a few people on the sidewalk as she approached the stairs in front of her building. She was staring straight ahead but was so wrapped in her own thoughts that she wasn't focusing on her surroundings. She lightly brushed against someone's arm as she reached the stairs. She turned her head to mumble an apology as she continued on.

Her eyes cast downward, Emily began climbing the stairs towards the front door of her building. She was about halfway up when she paused, at the same time raising her gaze from the pavement to stare in front of her. Her mind had caught up with her eyes. She slowly turned on the step. JJ was standing at the bottom of the steps.

Now that Emily stood facing her, a slow smile crept across the blonde's face.

"JJ? What are you doing here?"

JJ didn't respond right away. Instead, the two women stood staring at each other, the brunette looking down, as she was five steps higher than the blonde.

"You were talking about me, weren't you?" JJ finally replied, ignoring Emily's question.

"Talking about you? When?"

"Friday. On the plane." JJ knew she didn't need to elaborate.

"Ah." Emily broke their gaze to look down at her hands. She had her fingers interlocked and was nervously pressing her left thumb into her right palm. She knew her lack of denial was as good as an admission but she couldn't bring herself to answer in the affirmative yet. Instead, she looked back at JJ and countered, "Would you like to come inside?"

The blonde only nodded, before starting up the stairs as Emily had turned back towards the door.

"Where have you been so early on a Sunday morning?"

Emily never for a second considered lying. "To your house. And then The Coffee Shop." JJ didn't ask why.

They silently made their way into the building and up the stairs to Emily's third floor apartment. Emily used her keys to open the door and enter her place. Without looking back, she set her keys on her entryway table and silently made her way to her apartment's picture window. She knew JJ had followed her in and closed the door behind them.

After a moment to compose herself, Emily found the courage to turn towards her best friend. "Listen, JJ, about Friday..."

Emily was cut off before she could completely turn around. Unbeknownst to her, JJ had followed her nearly all the way to the window and had stopped only feet from her. As the brunette had turned to speak, JJ had closed the short distance and was now pressing her lips firmly to Emily's as her hands went to the back of Emily's head and pulled the brunette closer.

Emily closed her eyes and returned JJ's eager kiss, her own hands immediately going to JJ's waist and then wrapping her arms around JJ's back. Emily didn't stop to think about why JJ was doing this. All her mind could comprehend was how she had thought of this moment countless times for three years and yet somehow, impossibly, it was exponentially better than she ever could have imagined.

After a minute, JJ hesitantly broke the kiss and took a half step back, still in Emily's embrace but their bodies no longer flush.

"I don't understand..." Emily was the first to speak, her eyes searching the blonde's blue ones for an explanation. JJ stepped out of her arms and walked to the window, taking in the vast and picturesque scene. Emily's eyes followed her the whole way.

JJ turned to Emily and half smiled before beginning, "I realized something yesterday, something I should have figured out a long time ago. See, when you were saying what you said on the plane on Friday, I got jealous. At the time, I thought I was just jealous that you had everything so figured out. But I realized last night that I was jealous of whoever it was that you were talking about. And the more I thought about it, the more everything suddenly made sense. The lingering touches. The looks. It's why the thing with Will felt like something was missing. On Friday, you were talking about me, but I could just have easily been talking about you." She realized she had made a daring assumption that she hadn't fully had confirmed yet by the brunette. "You _were_ talking about me, right?"

Emily moved to within a foot of the JJ and raised her right hand to cup JJ's face. She bent slightly, so her eyes were level with the blonde's. "JJ, I've loved you for three years." She paused, taking a breath. "I'm in love with you."

"Is that why you were at my house this morning?"

"Yes." Emily nodded. Her expression turned serious. "JJ, I can't promise how this is going to turn out..."

"I know," the blonde cut her off, "but I don't care. I love you, too, Emily."

Emily smiled before leaning in and briefly kissing JJ again, softer this time. Pulling away, she smiled at the blonde before walking back towards the door to her condo and retrieving her keys.

"Where are you going?"

Emily opened her front door, without looking back, "_We_ are going to get some coffee." She turned to face JJ and was now motioning for to go through the door. "I may love you, Jareau, but I simply am terrified of the thought of you without coffee after 9 a.m."

JJ laughed before making her way towards the brunette. "As if I'd ever be rough to you."

"Oh, that I am counting on, for sure." Emily replied, a mischievous look in her dark eyes.

JJ blushed and playfully slapped Emily's arm as she walked past her and into the hallway. Emily locked the door and then hand in hand they made their way towards the stairs. Ready to begin their day and every day after it.

**A/N: This story was inspired by "Babylon" by David Gray.**


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